Breakthrough Networking

It's been awhile since my last post. Mainly, it's because I've been doing a lot of "unsettling" into 27.

I woke up early last Friday to attend an event about "breakthrough networking." Honestly, I hate networking. Big group events filled with "What do you do?" are not my thing.

Anyway, I'm still impressed I pulled myself out of bed but I felt like I'd learn something important.

I wanted to share some of the great takeaways with you.

Network with people who are better than you
Imagine you're buying a house. Do you want the highest priced house on the block or the lowest price house? Answer: you want the lowest price house because your neighbors will raise your value. How that translates to networking: you want to be networking with people who are better than you.

Your referral sources are your volunteer sales force, and you're the sales manager of this volunteer sales force. You are the solution to something and you need to activate your raving fans.

Hunting versus farming network
Are you a culprit of hunting networking? That means you're focused on finding your end user in the room. But the truth is, people don't use people they've only met once.

It's all about changing your mindset. Every result you want comes from your mindset. People who are productive do it in the way they think. We're obsessed with "to dos" but they don't produce breakthroughs.

The way you do anything is the same way you do everything. Watch people and get a sense for how they run everything in their life.

Stop texting or looking at your phone. Pick your battles. You're interested in people who are interested in you.

Number one place to be humane is on yourself. People focus too much on the "blew it" list. We're obsessed with what's not enough. Try keeping a gratitude journal with 3 things you're grateful for and 3 things that make you amazing.

Are you getting airtime on the channel of a connector?
Word of mouth epidemics are the work of connectors. People need to 1. know you, 2. like you, and 3. trust you before you start to see dividends. Connectors connect others. They are constantly raving. Have you gotten airtime on their channel? Win people by bringing massive value to them. Are you brilliant at conversing what you do? Connectors want to be heroes.

Every relationship is a relationship account
Every relationship is a relationship account. Make deposits that are relevant and high value. Be a good question asker. Then you have the greatest potential ROI. But only do it if you truly enjoy the person and there is no expectation of return (detach yourself from the outcome).

If you're not impressed with the people, don't invest your time. Over-givers are exhausted from giving. It has to be a circle that comes back around.

Make withdrawals: ask for intros, recommendations, or nominations.

Give deposits: give referrals, set up intros, treat everyone the way they want to be treated. Send them articles of interest. Do they want to be nominated? Invite them to events -- who would get value out of this event? Schedule coffee only if they are worthy of coffee, otherwise, ask them to join you at the event. If you want to learn more about them, ask them to coffee.

Don't forget to dress up. People want to know if you can handle their best client.

Identify, invest, incentivize.

Twenty-seven

I turned 27 last week. I "celebrated" in St. Maarten with my mom, sister, and brother-in-law. It felt uneventful. There's something about being 27--in my late 20s--that really baffles me. Me, 27, really?!

Am I where I imagined I would be at 27?

Sierra shared this quote earlier today that really resonated with me.

"It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. Do not mistake activity for achievement." -Isocrates

Our journeys are our own.

The One Month Travel Adventure

Over a period of a month, I took trips to Philadelphia, Seattle, and Costa Rica. This might not seem like a big deal for most people, but the only place I went on "vacation" in 2014 was home in DC. I definitely didn't plan to travel so much in such a short period of time but opportunities came up that I couldn't pass up.

The first trip I booked was my March 2015 trip to Costa Rica through Under30Experiences. I booked that back in September of last year because I had been eyeing the trips for awhile and kind of liked the idea of traveling on my own and getting to meet some new people.

One of my ongoing goals has been to get more speaking opportunities, so I pitched a workshop idea to the ITASA East Coast Conference. This was around the same time I booked my Costa Rica trip. The conference was over President's Day Weekend.

In December, my college friend Melinda told me that she won a trip and asked me to go as her plus one. How can I say no to a free trip? We ended up deciding on Seattle because we had both never been before (Austin was a close second) and then found out there was a wine and food festival at the end of February. We entered to wine tickets to it (and won, yay!) and so our trip was scheduled around the Seattle Wine and Food Experience.

Here are a few things I learned about myself:

1. I love being active when I'm traveling. Whether it's hitting up the hotel gym, going on a hike, or playing soccer with kids, I've now made it a point to pack some sneakers and activewear for my trips.
2. I prefer not to make plans. I didn't do any research when I went to Seattle and going with the flow worked a lot better. Same with Costa Rica. They planned everything and it was nice not having to worry about that part of the trip.
3. It's hard for me to completely unplug. I didn't bring my computer with me to Seattle and felt really stressed about living off of my phone for a few days and letting something slip through the cracks. That's why I had decided to bring my computer with me to Costa Rica. There was still a buildup of emails and other to-dos, but I only had internet access at the hotel so had to make that time productive. That worked for me.
4. I'm not the best travel companion for longer periods of time. Given my introverted tendencies, I can only spend so much time with others before I retreat and become quiet or irritated. I need time to recharge and reflect on my own without company.
5. Despite my love of food, there is no way to eat everything. Melinda and I tried eating our way through Seattle, but after a filling brunch, there wasn't much room to enjoy everything at the food and wine festival... and definitely not enough room to really enjoy the dinner at the nice restaurant. Feeling full (and I actually mean whatever the next stage is after full) also didn't help with #4.
6. The people make the trip. Getting to catch up with some old friends in Philly and Seattle were some of the highlights of those trips. 
7. It's fun to push yourself. One of my most memorable parts of the Costa Rica trip was swimming through a waterfall. I didn't think I could do it and felt myself losing steam once I had to fight against the current, but with the help of my travel companions, I was able to make it through and it was so beautiful.
8. But you're on vacation. No need to overexert yourself. There were a few days in Costa Rica where our group when out dancing or wanted to go to a club. FOMO kicked in a little bit, but I knew I needed to choose to sleep if I wanted to make the most out of the day.
9. Getting back on track after a trip takes time. My trips messed with my morning routine and my diet, and I still feel like I'm playing catch up.

I'm back home in DC this weekend for a quick trip but my next one isn't until the end of April. I'm actually excited about spending some time in one place for a couple weeks.

Matterness

It's been a little while since my last post, but now that I'm back from Philadelphia, Seattle, and Costa Rica, I have a little more than a month until my next trip. More on my trips later. It's a lot of traveling, but so worth it.

I went to the launch of Allison Fine's book MATTERNESS. Mind blown. Here are a few of my takeaways from the event.

• Matterness is reversing the traditional notion of leadership, where the leader was the most important person, and replacing it with a new definition where the focus is on making other people matter.
• Even though networks are largely powered by social media, nothing is going to change entirely online, it needs to happen on land. 
• We spend too much time thinking about "what could go wrong?" This is a fear-based culture.
• Call to action: making the world better means making the people in it better. PARTICIPATE. Don't think about "they" or outsourcing it.
• We need organizations. They just need to be better. Volunteer-led networks need someone paid.
• #givingtuesday: What can make the most people inspired to share their cause? Empower people in the network rather than empowering yourself.
• What people are most scared of doesn't actually exist.
• People shared why they were there and the stories changed the work.

I think I lot of these apply to the work we're doing at Diversability.

My Morning Routine

I'm not going to lie, I've read way too many articles about super successful entrepreneurs and CEOs waking up at 5am, working out, and checking all their emails before they head out the door.

People have asked me whether I'm a morning or a night person. To be honest, I'm not sure. When I was in banking, I was a night person. Recruiting, I was more of a morning person. Then I was waking up at 3am for the newsroom... and then taking on the graveyard shift from 11pm-7am for a bit as a segment producer/writer.

I thought I'd share my current "morning routine."

7:30am - first alarm goes off, snooze.
8:00am - second alarm goes off, snooze.
8:20am - third alarm goes off, skim emails, read theSkimm, post on Instagram, and get out of bed.
8:30am - brush my teeth and think about what I'm excited about for the day, hop in the shower.
9:00am - blow dry hair, get dressed, put on makeup.
9:20am - hopefully out the door and ready for my walk to work.
10:00am - in the office, make myself oatmeal to start the day.

To be honest, this is a "routine" for an ideal morning. The snoozing exercise normally goes on for a little bit longer. What about you? What do you do in the morning?

Terrified

Today, I woke up terrified. No, I didn't have a bad dream and my life wasn't in danger.

I drafted an email late last night to the almost 400 existing members of Diversability and scheduled for it to be sent early this morning. Finally crossed this one off my to-do list.

But I thought about why it had managed to stay on my list every week. It's because I'm scared. I don't know if I can do it. I'm terrified.

Now it's real. I put it out into the universe--people I've never met before--that I'm bringing Diversability back. Accountability at its finest. 

Then my friend shared a piece she had written on her brother. Stories are beautiful. Stories are powerful. Stories can be shared. And in the period of 7 months, can reach more than 8 million unique visitors. That's a lot.

To be honest, creating Diversability was one of my proudest accomplishments at Georgetown. I didn't know it at the time, but putting myself out there made me feel more comfortable in my own skin. And the impact we had on others, even if it was just a handful of people, meant everything to me.

Diversability had a few good years after I graduated, from becoming an official group recognized by the university's Student Activities Commission in 2010 to this interview with E.R.A.S.E. (Educating Residents About Social Equality) with Diversability's President Kate Newman and VP Nancy Oduro in 2013.

About a month ago, someone reached out to me asking me if I was still involved with Diversability and was interested to hear more about it. Five days later, I got an email that ended like this: "I think it's great that you have brought publicity and awareness to individuals with disability. I'm not sure when I would be ready, but I have wanted to do the same for some time now."

I felt like it was a sign.

Starting anything new is scary, whether it's a new job, a new relationship, or a new venture. But what I do know is I am passionate about this space and I'm passionate about making an impact. Are we filling a white space? I'm not sure. Can we reach millions? We'll see. We all started somewhere.

If it's both terrifying and amazing, then you should definitely pursue it.

It Takes a Village

About a month ago, I spent the afternoon perusing the Winter Village at Bryant Park. I ended up getting some gifts... and socks from Bergies. I find I can never have enough socks. And these ones were "spa socks," which meant they were really soft and thicker, perfect for an NYC winter. Winning all around.

About a week later, I was going through some of the postcards and business cards from my spree and came across this: 

Take a picture, get some likes, and win an $80 six month sock subscription! If I were instafamous, this would be easy. Post the photo and immediately get hundreds of likes. Unfortunately, I'm not quite there yet but I noticed there were only a few posts so decided to try my luck.

I started with a photo and a handful of hashtags. Instagram caught on and didn't let me post anymore hashtags. Then I asked other #socks hashtag-ers to check out my photo! That got me to around 50 likes. I thought that would be enough to win until I checked out my competition a few days before the end of the contest.

I was 70 likes behind. I went into full hustle mode... Because if I didn't win the socks, I wanted it to be because I had tried everything I could. I reposted the photo on my Instagram, cross-posted on another account I managed, and consistently posted on Twitter. All I needed was a like. I wasn't asking anyone to create a new account or sign up for anything.

Then I went to facebook. I shared it in 3 communities I'm active in and asked them to help. I posted it on my facebook. I posted it on my sister's facebook. Two women from the Chloe + Isabel community got invested and shared my link on their personal facebook page and tagged people on my photo and encouraged them to like it.

I was overwhelmed by the support. For socks.

Truth is, I'm not sure any of the other entrants wanted it as badly as I did. But it was amazing for me to see the community come together. For socks. 

It really does take a village.